I should be focusing on the final revision for Black Magic and Barbecue Sauce. I received feedback from Peggy on the first five chapters of such worth that it has proved all the impetus I need to delay. Want: Chosen One has had a phenomenal start. I'm through chapter 9, have over 19,000 words, and am not slowing down. Every time I think I need to take a break or pause and reflect, I sit down and knock out 2500 words. I don't want to stop and lose all that momentum.

Also, and this is totally wrong of me, I wanted to work with the Nelson Agency. I know there are plenty of good authors out there, but none that do such a good job of selling themselves. I believe that NLA has the right ethos toward agenting, its relationship with authors and its relationship with publishers. Wanted: Chosen One is more mainstream, I think. It still has flawed characters, but not as abysmally depressed as Cy. Ironically, between the two, Wanted has the sadder ending, but I still think will be more widely accepted. It toys with generally accepted fantasy paradigms in a way that reminds me of some well established authors in the genre. And really, I have trouble figuring out what genre Black Magic falls into. Some agents would call it fantasy, some would call it literary fiction, others would call it commercial fiction. Wanted: Chosen One is most certainly fantasy without reservation. So, if my progress continues on such a heavy clip and I finish the manuscript by the beginning of November, perhaps I'll shop it out to NLA before returning to Black Magic.

That's a slippery slope, and one I'm keeping an eye on. Get a rejection and make excuses to work on something else. This isn't denial. I have a large list of agents at home to submit Black Magic to. This is opportunity. As long as Wanted: Chosen One continues to come so easily, I'll keep writing it.

Julie just sent me tremendous insight on Cy. Woo hoo! To quote Nathan Fillion, Bam said the lady!

This puts me in a great position. I'm writing this post mostly to remind myself to insert a bit about Matty saying how all Speakers are inherently selfish. After so many years of people saying it's all about them, they inevitably start to believe it.

This next revision is going to be top notch!

So I've started to get deedback on my draft. I'm very enthusiastic about this because it was very strong feedback. A lot of the time I'll get feedback and wonder if the person even read what I wrote. In this case, there were some very relevant questions and observations. Of the two most important suggestions, I am adding back in a chapter I origionally removed, thinking I had too many flashback chapters and that it slowed down the pacing. Turns out it's too vague what happened between Christian and Cy, so I'm reinserting the chapter where he kidnaps Matty and forces Cy to steal the couer de la reine from the tower of London. I'm adding it much earlier than I origionally planned (it's now chapter 19 rather than in the high 30s/low 40s.

The question I still want additional input on is whether any readers like Cy. It was always a concern of mine that he wasn't likeable and so far that's been affirmed. I need more input on that one.

Because of this necessary revision, I'm not submitting to any more agents until I have a finished ms. Chapter 19 isn't coming as fast as I'd like, though and will probably have to be rewritten before it stops sucking.

I do want to say that I appreciate the support I received when NLA rejected my query, but that support was unnecessarily negative toward NLA. Sure I wish my work appealed to them, but it didn't. I want an agent that will get behind me and my work. A query letter is only 2-3 paragraphs, so a rejection after two days is great. It could have been MUCH longer without any more time spent considering it. It's only a couple paragraphs after all.

So, when I get my next rejection (and I'm sure I will), keep in mind that that's part of the profession and unless they are rude in their rejection, they should be treated respectfully. Thanks.

On yet another new story note, Good Ken and I talked a lot during his visit. One topic we dwelled on was the Pathfinder Society and that conversation lead me to a new story idea, one that I find much more exciting than Sandwich Notch Drive or Jehovah's Hitlist. I have already written chapter one of WANTED: CHOSEN ONE, NOW HIRING. This first chapter is significantly better than my first chapter of JH.

Writing on my blackberry, so I'll save a description for a separate post at a later time. If the book keeps up at this quality, not only am I certain that it will be published, but it will be quite successful.

Today I submitted a query letter for Black Magic and Barbecue Sauce to the Nelson Literary Agency. It is the agency I hope represents my work, so I'm waiting the ten day grace period (their average reply time) before submitting to others. Fingers crossed.

What's that? Algiers is the capital of Algeria you say? Of course it is. The words are almost identical. Wait, what's that? I list it in Morocco?

...

*waves hand with two fingers extended*

That doesn't say Algiers, that says Marrakech. It also says red city not white. And it's near the mountains not the sea. You should really pay more attention when you read.

Add the line

Not when you live forever. Great things get you noticed. Get you worshiped.

Maybe scrap that last sentence.

I rewrote my query letter for the tenth time yesterday. I've read so many different Good Query Letter blogposts that everything is starting to blur together. My pitch is solid, I think. BCC just like Karen Nelson suggests, but for some reason I remember someone saying not to mention themes, to let them see the themes in your writing, but then examples I see include themes. *shrug* I added a few thematic questions. That made me realize, perhaps I did not explore those themes as best I can.

I'll wait for feedback from folks and then take a look when I take my next pass.

One task I have been avoiding is fixing the chapter numbering. I have deleted three chapters so far. One just wasn't relevant and got the axe. The other two I never finished and when I got to them, I saw why. Neither warranted their own chapter and both were resolved by adding a sentence (or less) to the preceding or succeeding chapter.

I am now 65% finished with revision and am confident that any chapters remaining will be kept. I'm moving toward the climax and those chapters left all represent pieces that need to be moved into position. This means that I can renumber all the chapters. A pain in the ass if you're not using Word (where you can view as outline and see all your chapter titles if you marked them as Headers rather than text). But I did it nonetheless and now my chapters are properly sequenced.

Black Magic and Barbecue Sauce is 69 chapters long. How fitting. :D

She gives him a "Who is that?" Quirked eyebrow. He gives her an "I have no idea" shrug. She gives him a "Look at what you've done to your shirt" frown. He gives her a a "Who cares? It's the playoffs!" smile.

I have read four books since I finished my novel, three of which I only read last year. This is a good thing. I enjoy Bujold's Miles series enough that reading the novels again is still exciting, but the stories are still fresh enough in my mind that I can focus on other things, like when she takes the time to explain through exposition and when through dialogue. Which works when and why. Her use of adverbs, and even the progression of the quality of her writing. Compare Memory with the Warrior's Apprentice and you notice a definite growth in the writer's ability.

This has exposed errors in my own decisions, errors that I aim to correct and look forward to the rounder, more complete story they will create (for all my attempts, Dawn is still a relatively two-dimensional character, even if she is no longer the damsel in distress that she was before. And Dawn has not been a fitting name. I need to find something different that isn't too exotic but not too mundane either).

So this morning I went to Jackie's and edited the first 28 pages of the manuscript. Sure there's a crapload more to do and I might be faster just typing (especially since I'll have to type all these corrections), but editing by hand has a number of benefits. It slows the process down and requires me to weigh each action and word choice. It allows me to see how those decisions are framed in a larger context (not something as easy to accomplish on a 10" screen. And I edit in red pen, so let me tell you, there's some serious humility going on when you see swaths of your text crossed out mercilessly. Chapters 1 and 2 (1 having been previously revised even [for the audio sample on my website which I guess now I'll have to revise]) took some considerable straightening. Two is in a much better place than it was before.

Chapter 3 hasn't suffered too much from corrections yet. It was originally chapter 6 and it is heartening to see how much my writing improved between 2 and 6. Hopefully that means the rest of the manuscript isn't as crappy as I sometimes felt it was.

I didn't sleep well last night. While I had more to say on the subject, thinking right now is difficult and I want to go back to the couch and play some Wii.

Bye.

Who is finished withe the first draft of his novel? I AM FINISHED with the first draft of my novel!

Total word count is 108,797. The battle between Seth and Cy nearly doubled my average word count per chapter. I was told Seth used too much non-black magic in the short story so I have rectified that.

Woo hoo! I don't have to give up writing!

Now, I'm going to read a book or three then I'm going to start on the revision. Now the hard work begins.

I finished chapter 66 today. I mapped out the next five chapters. Why didn't I map out more, you ask? Because the manuscript ends in 5 chapters.

71 is the end zone, baby! I'm almost there! Yay, I won't have to give up trying to write professionally. And how. I'll come in around the 110,000 word mark all since March. This pleases me.

Now the challenge is to go back and make that 110,000 not suck. Oh yes, that will be a challenge. And of course I'll have to resist the urge to send it to people to read even though it's not in a place that I would enjoy as a reader and wouldn't expect you to either. Still, it's exciting when you finish something. You want people to read it right away and tell you how amazing it is.

Now, the question is, am I far enough removed from the beginning of the book that I can start revising immediately, or should I take a break first? Read a book or write a short story, something like that. No point in revising if my second draft sucks as much as the first.

Woooooo!!!!!

Working on the chapter that was part of the original short story. Was the opening scene. Searching for salvageable bits. Holy crap this thing sucked! How did any of you read that? I should just scrap the entire thing and pretend it doesn't exist.

Having attempted to use the MBTA's commuter rail wi-fi along with my work laptop VPN, I have determined that it doesn't work. The VPN doesn't like such an unstable internet connection and just doesn't bother giving me access to my company network. This makes my work laptop little more than a word processor. A word processor that weighs a ton. I own two laptops of my own and would much rather use one of those for work if I have to. So I leave it at home so I can work from home when I want/need to.

Why is this relevant to this journal? Because that means I'm writing on the train again. Only a couple of days, so far, but they've been good days. I wrote the fight scene between Christian and Cy. I burned down Omar's house. I had Alice Henderson get all uppity with Cy without saying anything, and I dramatically changed how objects work. Before they were totally reactive. You Speak to them and they respond, otherwise they're silent (aside from the occasional expletive for humor's sake). This just didn't seem right. If they truly have their own voice, why don't they use it? It's not that Speakers give them a voice, it's just that normal humans can't understand what they're saying. So, for example, when Omar comes home from the funeral and slams the door, it was originally him slamming the door. Now it's the door shouting, "Omar's home" because a door slamming is a means of speech for it. This is most readily apparent when the house burns down. It might not be as emotionally gripping as I want to be, but I'll tidy that up on a second pass.

I'm also making Dawn Jewish and thinking of changing her name again. Her Judaism won't really matter by way of the story, just a little bit of character background for her.

With the exception of chapter 51 (a flashback chapter that demands research), I am now to the area of the book that overlaps the original short story. Seth finally confronts Cy and they have their epic stand-off at the City Museum. Weave into that Dawn, Omar, Cy's apathy toward life (which really hasn't come through as much as I thought it would) and some barbecue sauce and you have an end of a book.

I'm already at 93,299 words, though, so my 100,000 word novel is looking like it's going to be 125k. I'm not sure how I feel about this. I need to tell the story as it needs to be told. I may cut some of the flashback chapters as there are significantly more than I originally expected. We'll see what stays and what goes after I finish. The key here is, though, that I WILL finish. This is good because I would have hated to have to give up writing. I enjoy it so.

I don't carry both my work laptop and my writing Eee PC to and from work. That's just too much. I only carry the former. So with the exception of a half hour this past weekend, I haven't been doing any writing. Work has just been too busy. I've been able to focus on work without the distraction of writing, so I've gotten a lot done (a lot being two words, Ken), but no writing.

Work gave my laptop to someone else who has a "family emergency" (and those quote marks are well earned) which means I get to bring my Eee PC along again. So this morning I scrapped a planned chapter and replaced it with something infinitely better. I'm glad to see that reading Charles Stross hasn't negatively impacted my writing.

I've been cranky for a couple of weeks now and I figured it was stress from work, which it absolutely is. The longer my work hours, the shorter my fuse. But I didn't realize how much an impact not writing was having on me, and I should have given that I've experienced this in the past. I wrote a chapter (a short one) and revised the succeeding one to account for these revisions and I feel GREAT!

I need to finish a flashback chapter (chapter 51, but I need to research when Buckingham Palace and the Tower of London were built. It was originally set in these locations but I think I've now moved it early enough that neither existed yet) but all other chapters 55 and earlier are finished and I've got the first paragraph of 56. I think I might have mentioned this before, but for as much crap as I give Luke about making French jokes, I make a LOT of French jokes. It's okay to make fun of the French. They've earned it. Just do it for the right reasons. Freedom Fries was embarrassing and stupid.

Anyway, yay for today! I had delicious coffee. I'm about to have delicious oatmeal. I'll have delicious Digorno pizza for lunch (spicy chicken and I added chipotle peppers and garlic) and hopefully will kick ass at work today. I hope I can be as productive on the trip home as I was on the way into work. Should wrap things up around chapter 70 I think I estimated in an earlier post? Didn't I? Or was it 80. Either way, I'm on 56. That should tell you how close I am to the end!

I mentioned this before, but Black Magic and Barbecue Sauce was summarized as a retelling of Hancock. There is no Jason Bateman or annoying French kid, but there is a person that is outside the normal human experience and feels isolated, alone, and apathetic. There is a former wife that he can't be with (but for totally different reasons).

It's a theme not unique to Hancock but damn if I can't stop thinking about that. I started this story before Hancock was even released goddamnit!

So every once in awhile I'm struck by self-doubt. I've mentioned that before. Today, sitting in my car after finishing a chapter, was one of those times, though not as strong as it normally is. As I get closer and closer to the end of my story and the individual threads become more and more interwoven, I grow more excited about what I'm doing. I went so far as to say "I'm off to write a best seller" much like Billy Crystal said "Have fun storming the castle." Now, what I'm doing is better than some work that is published, but I question how hard a feat that really is. But after that, I question how justified I am in thinking my work is better than anything published. What if it just seems better but is really the usual drivel new authors think is great but really sucks?! So many times I thought I was being original only to find out I had fallen into a common trap of new authors and that a thousand authors before me had done the same things a thousand times before. What if what I'm writing is boring, cliche crap?! What if I am mediocre?!

Here are the things that freak me out the most. The white man helps the woman and the black man realize their potential (PC liberal guilt or a justified concern?). The man saves the woman (this one isn't entirely true because the woman was never really in danger, but he doesn't know that). The hero is a white guy; the villain a black guy (more liberal guilt). And the apathetic anti-hero comes around to save the day at the end (damnit, all my other stories end with everyone dying, but sure my first genuine offering has the guy saving the day. I wanted to do something different for me, but something different for me is the same as everyone else!).

Argh!

Okay, that is all.

You know, since I've written my preface, I've referenced it in a few chapters later in the book. I'm thinking--and I'll have to wait until the draft is finished--that I can just scrap the prologue all together and keep the references as they do a better job of implying what happened without actually retelling that entire scene. I like starting with chapter one. I like starting with William Henderson and his suits.

As I type this, I realize I had already decided on a more poignant end with Cy and Dawn and an Epilogue would just ruin that so it's scrapped. Scrap the prologue too, I think. I'm 90% sure that chapter's going away.

I wrote today for the first time in a week. It wasn't a "I need to take time off and recharge my batteries by reading," week. It was a "Oh my god Washington, DC, was exhausting and work is kicking my ass" week. Technically, it should be kicking my ass now, but I wanted to write this down.

So for those of you that read the prologue, enjoy it, you probably won't see it in print.

So yesterday when I said I should be up to 50 except maybe some odd chapters in the 40s, what I really meant was I was up to 39 with intermittent chapters in the 40s and 50s and mapping up over 60. Yes, I totally meant that the entire time. There was no error. Carry on. Nothing to see here.

The last couple of days I've been hitting these massive dialogue surges where the humor is too good to give up. I don't want the pacing to slow down, but the second half of the chapter is nothing but dialogue (and I do mean nothing but). I'm going to leave it for revision, but since it's happened two days in a row now, I'm a bit nervous that this might be a perpetual thing, maybe a sub-conscious attempt to accelerate the writing process so I can get to the end. I don't know.

Speaking of the end. I hit 70,000 words today and I still have a lot left to write. At 2k per chapter, that should mean I only need 15 more chapters, but I already have 20 more mapped and that's not even to the end. I'll probably end with 25-30 more chapters (so end around chapter 70 or so). This means my 100,000 word count I had been aiming for is going to get overshot. I'll end with 125,000 or thereabouts. I had really wanted to keep this at the 100k mark. That felt like a sweet spot. I thought it would increase saleability as well. Hopefully that extra 25k won't be too detrimental. This is the story as it has to be told and while I'll clean up bloat from extraneous word use, I'm not inclined to cut any chapters. I've been mostly frugal to this point and what chapters exist out of the main plot arc are necessary character development.

I wrote one yesterday, a post-coital short chapter, that I quite enjoy. I may post it if I have the time. I think it really humanizes Cy and establishes his relationship with Dawn as genuine.

I took a few days off last week to read (Gabaldon's third Lord John book) and recharge the batteries. That got things going at the end of the week. It was slow starting, but picked up on Sunday and today. I have one more chapter to add down in the early 20s and then everything is finished up into the 50s (there maybe one or two stray chapters needing completion in the lower 40s, but I can't remember). At the beginning of last week, I thought I was hitting a mental block. A fear of finishing the novel. I'm not actually afraid of finishing it, don't be silly. It's just that roadblock everyone gets. Why isn't everyone a writer? Because everyone can't finish their stories. Anyone can start one (not necessarily well) but not everyone can finish one. How many people tell you how they want to be a writer (or worse that they are a writer) and that they have a drawer full of half-finished stories.

Listen buddy, if you can't finish the story, then you haven't told a story. A beginning isn't a story, it's a beginning. You need a middle and an end.

With that breakthrough I had in response to Ken's response, things are all of a sudden becoming connected in ways I never imagined. I've worked in the economy and the housing decline. Dennis gets his comeuppance. And I've even tied the English lieutenant from the first flashback chapter to characters later introduced. Hot damn, this is turning into a great story! If I were looking for a book to buy, I would buy this one. And I'd tell all my friends to buy it too.

...keep that in mind next year.

I mentioned my Punic chapter on Saturday. I spent most of the day researching. Not Diana Gaboldon levels of research, but clicking numerous links on Wikipedia research (9 tabs open simultaneously).

Now, you just rolled your eyes. Stop that. There are two reasons why you shouldn't shrug your eyes. It's an easy thing to pick on Wikipedia but the ease of access and the level of accuracy in relation to the total content included makes it an amazing resource. Yes, it should not be used as a primary source. That's why it requires references. But it's still amazing, so stop picking on it. Second, I am intentionally modifying history anyway, creating a "what we think was versus what really was" type of situation because there are people still alive that actually lived it. And how much has our perception of the 80s changed just in the decades since, much less 5000 years ago. So, any inaccuracies in Wikipedia are irrelevant because accuracy isn't my goal. An appearance of accuracy is.

So, knock it off. :)

Anyway, I'm really pumped about this part of the book. It's funny, because this was the only flashback chapter that I listed without knowing what I was going to flash back to. I knew I wanted him to meet an acquaintance from the past, but had no idea who or where that would be. When I had Matty throw in "remember Carthage" I figured I should probably do something with that. And bam, here we are. We get to see Cy when he's still parading around as a god (and acting like one too). (Acting like one = douchebag)

I also made my cover page, dedication, and acknowledgments this weekend. I was intentionally not doing this, but broke down as I realized I needed an acknowledgment about the history as some historical pedant would have whined and I would have had to kick him in the junk. The reason I don't do this is because I love seeing my title/name together. I immediately materialize it into a book cover and then I spend time staring at a near-empty page rather than writing. But it's there (and I am excited about it).

Oh, and out of all that research, more character development came out! A whole different relationship with Matty and Cy. Something I'll have to actually work on to make fit given his current relationship with Dawn (once Christie but whose name changed because I had a Christian and a Christie and that's just too much Christ). And after this morning's song war where Jen was trying to get the theme to Inspector Gadget stuck in my head and I was trying to get Bumblebee Tuna stuck in hers, I came up with an entire scene about Bumblebee Tuna that I think will be a welcome diversion from the drive of the main plot (and flesh out a character that isn't getting as much attention as I would like).

Edit: I also like Mr. Whiskers so much that I keep having ideas for LoLcatz pictures at the beginning/end of the book. "I'm in ur novelz, stealin ur scenes."