My adventure is in my way. Now that I've realized my mistakes in my novel, I'm anxious to get back to work. I don't know what this will mean for my relationship exactly or how I'll manage my eating arrangements, but my vacation is over and it's time to get shit done.

If you read fantasy books and haven't heard of Patrick Rothfuss yet, you will soon. Terry Goodkind, Tad Williams, the president of DAW Books all say the same thing, he's the next superstar of fantasy. His first book, The Name of the Wind comes out this coming Tuesday. Why is this relevant to my journal? Because Pat and I share the same circle of friends. Granted, we're on the opposite side of that circle, and we've never met each other personally. We do have similar aspirations and similar egos. Have you ever had one cat that ruled the house and then brought home a second cat? They may be friends eventually, but at first, they hiss and scratch at each other. Not only am I not the only writer in my group, but the other one is an ordained superstar. This makes the ego hiss. And while I hope it will be beneficial to both of us in the future, I have nothing on the table to stake my claim at the moment, so to act otherwise would be false.

A strange side effect of this is self-doubt, something I'm not used to. If it weren't for self-doubt, everyone would be a writer or a film maker or a singer. Doubt and insecurity create a hill that a successful person overcomes and an unsuccessful person gives up and walks back down. I've climbed that hill before and as such have attained the experience that I have now. But a new hill just rose in front of me and it's awfully damn high. It's intimidating to see someone receive such accolades on his first attempt (even if they don't mention how long he took to write the book).

Much like a warrior who chokes down fear before a battle, this isn't a hill that will stop me. He's Sammy Sosa. I'm Mark McGuire.

Bitch. :)